Lookit that smile! Those chompers! Those crinkly eyes! That soft auburn hair! What woman wouldn’t fall for Thomas Euteneuer?Lots, apparently, which didn’t stop Thomas from falling for them. Which is why the Catholic priest, exorcist, and pro-life activist is now unemployed and disgraced. Last week, we all learned that Euteneuer…
As Lisa Rab reported Monday, Rep. Allen West, of Florida’s 22nd district, loves freedom. He doesn’t love Muslims, but he does understand that they too may aspire to autonomy. “When you have these regimes that are autocratic, theocratic, dictatorial,” West explained, “they do tend to oppress the people, as far…
Early results of last April’s census are out, and the news is grim. South Florida’s heretofore bullish population growth has slowed and may stop. In a Sun-Sentinel article published yesterday, authoritative-sounding people blamed the economy. A lack of jobs, said the consensus, is repelling prospective Floridians in droves. We might…
Letter sent to Rep. Allen West of Florida’s 22nd District. Awaiting response. Col. West:Greetings. My name is Brandon K. Thorp, and I covered the last month of your campaign for New Times. As you know, I think that you are a disingenuous and bloodthirsty man and that you have more…
Most believer-versus-atheist arguments go like this: Both combatants make an equal number of points, each of which appears to be equally valid. The combatants outrage each other. They stump each other. At some point, the believer makes an appeal to something called “faith” or “grace” and smiles dreamily, hinting at…
When Jared Lee Loughner shot Congresswoman Gabrielle “Gabby” Giffords through the head and murdered six other people outright, it really was because he was “insane” and “deranged,” as Bob Norman put it in his heartfelt open letter to Joyce Kaufman. Loughner’s most coherent political position is an ill-defined anti-Semitism. He…
Girls, contain yourselves. Men, try not to barf. The premise of Goldie, Max, and Milk is thus: A newly single lesbian has just given birth to a baby girl and can’t lactate. To help, she retains the services of a Jewish Orthodox lactation consultant. Worldviews clash! The women embark upon…
In Part I of this article, I discussed two telling statements made by Congressman-elect Allen West during his campaign to represent Florida’s 22nd District. The first revealed West’s troubling inability to differentiate friendly, charitably minded American Muslims from jihadists; the second revealed West’s feelings for his ideological opponents, with whom…
Congressman-elect Allen West was interviewed on Fox News Sunday this weekend. He was surprisingly mellow. The barn-burning campaigner who called for an armed march on Lexington and Concord was nowhere in evidence. Despite interviewer Chris Wallace’s best efforts at incitement, West remained poised and polite, explaining that, yes, while it…
The Heavy Pets are that rarest of all Floridian bands — a group that, in trying to make it big, moved to, not away from, Fort Lauderdale. Its loose, inoffensive jam-band sound (and Deadesque absence of a really compelling lead singer) masks a knack for chunky pop hooks and smart,…
Lola’s on Harrison is just about the prettiest little bistro in Hollywood. That it’s also one of the city’s most economical and gastronomically inspired eateries explains its rabid clientele, which come for the Coca-Cola ribs, the purple potato skins with sturgeon caviar, the homey-chic ambiance, and the brilliant beer flights…
Respectable Street is the oldest, friendliest, and probably best music club in SoFla, and on New Year’s Eve, it takes over the 500 block of Clematis. Traffic will shut down, and the street will fill with revelers — at least until 1 a.m., when those still reveling will have to…
That most venerable of all Wilton Manors institutions, Tropics combines the classy with the comfy like no other eatery-cum-boozery on “The Drive.” Tropics does two seatings — one in which punters are requested to arrive between 5:30 and 7 p.m. (and are expected to finish by 9), and another when…
The Dubliner is brought to you by the same dude who runs Respectable, so it’s not trying to compete with that other, more-famous institution. In years past, the Dubliner has hired a full band for New Year’s. This year, it’s got eclectic DJ Vinsane spinning at 10 o’clock. Other than…
This here is Hollywood’s best beer bar and one of the city’s friendliest establishments of any kind. The punters and staff are united by their love of lovable liquids and mellowed by those liquids’ ubiquity. (Visitors often make use of the on-site chess sets, and matches are invariably civil.) All…
Last week, Florida’s favorite virginal pundit shared her Christmas cheer in a screed titled “Scrooge Was a Liberal,” published internationally at Human Events and AnnCoulter.com. And though the piece is as poorly written, mean-spirited, and grammatically eccentric as anything else Coulter has penned, it actually has its points. (Merry Christmas,…
“What a week,” wrote Congressman-elect Allen West to his supporters yesterday, “as we draw closer to a very Merry Christmas.” On the evidence, Allen West defines “merry” a bit differently from the rest of us, for he spends the next 15 paragraphs griping about Barack Obama’s “attack” on “for-profit” universities,…
This week, our favorite local virgin published her most vapid screed yet at Human Events, her “editorial home.” Wondering why our nation’s top “legal eagles” have yet to make a compelling case for the criminal prosecution of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, she draws on her lawyerly training to make the…
Allen West is learning the ways of Washington.On December 7, Congressman-elect West committed his very first honest-to-goodness Washingtonian gaffe when, in an interview with the African American Conservative Radio Show, he called for the effective dismantling of the First Amendment. Yesterday afternoon, West attempted to minimize the damage with his…
It is obvious that the voodoo curse upon West Palm Beach resident Renald Louis is working its magic. Louis spent his 26th birthday in a jail cell, humiliated, and forced to scrounge — fruitlessly — for the sums needed to pay his $25,000 bond.His crime? Throwing a brick through the…
Conservative columnist and over-syndicated radio blowhard Cal Thomas doesn’t live around here, so he may not have seen our summary dismemberment of the suddenly fashionable “chaplain’s argument” against the repeal of don’t ask, don’t tell. But there he is, on the opinion page of our once-respectable daily, the Sun Sentinel,…
Good news: According to our new grading system, Florida’s public schools are doing better than ever! D schools are B schools! C schools are A schools! Florida is an educational dynamo!Bad news: Our high school seniors are totally illiterate. We are dumber than South Dakota and only marginally better-educated than…
