New Miami Dolphins Uniforms Leaked

After weeks of speculation and Twitter leaks and rumors and hearsay, it looks like the Miami Dolphins’ new logo and uniforms have finally, for real this time, been leaked. See also: -New Miami Dolphins Logo Might Have Been Leaked for Real This Time, Maybe -New Miami Dolphins Logo: The Best…

Boca Elementary Student Molested by Fellow Student, Father’s Suit Claims

A female student at Coral Sunset Elementary School in Boca Raton was repeatedly molested by another student, claims the girl’s father in a lawsuit filed Monday. The boy also allegedly repeatedly sexually harassed and made inappropriate sexual comments toward the girl, according to the victim’s father. And worse, he says,…

Obama Rides, Praises Broward Students’ Science Project Bike

Kionna Elliot, 18, and Payton Karr, 16, of Northeast High School in Broward unveiled their science-fair project in the East Garden of the White House on Wednesday afternoon.And the result was not only a display of pride from students repping our hometown but it also gave us a fantastic image…

Florida Sues BP and Halliburton Over 2010 Oil Spill

Florida got the Earth Day festivities kicked off early with some good old-fashioned litigation. Over the weekend, Florida joined Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana in suing BP and Halliburton over the 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil spill. The suit, filed by State Attorney General Pam Bondi in U.S. District Court in Panama…

TSA Has Been Ordered to Listen to Your Complaints

It’s bad enough that TSA workers have to look at your flabby fat ass through their full-body scanners, but now they’re going to have to take a public scolding too. According to a 90-day court order by the U.S. Court of Appeals of D.C., the Transportation Security Administration will now…

Bomb Threat at South Plantation High School UPDATED

UPDATE: According to the Sun-Sentinel’s Twitter feed, the bomb threat is being called a hoaxSouth Plantation High School is on lockdown due to a bomb threat. Students have been cordoned off in a park across the street from campus. Police is not is allowing anyone to leave. Officers have set…

Gun Control Bill Dies, Florida Legislature Reacts Accordingly

Ah, Florida Legislature. No, Gays, you can’t do that. No, Women, you can’t do that. No, Poors, you can’t have that. BUT TAKIN’ MAH GUNZ IS A VIOLATION OF MAH RIGHTS!! And so it goes. When news broke that the gun control bill hit the proverbial brick wall and died Wednesday…

Miami Heat 2013 Wrecking Tour Part II Starts Sunday

Here we go, Heat fans.Now that the regular season is over, and the Miami Heat competed a team-best 66-win season, and all the media-myth created nonsense about LeBron James being a choker is over and done with, and all the media-myth created nonsense about Heat fans being the worst fanbase…

Lionfish Hunting Rules May Be Eased Even More By FWC (UPDATED)

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission are set to vote on making it easier for people to hunt down and kill lionfish in Florida waters. In case you weren’t aware, lionfish are basically the ocean’s biggest assholes. They’re invasive, they eat everything, and nothing eats them. And they are…

Florida Armed Security Guards in Schools Bill Heads to House

Oh hey, lookit. A bill that would allow armed guards to walk around your kid’s school has been introduced to the Florida House, because the state legislature is a fantastic entity of profound and wondrous ideas. It’s called HB 1097. And it’s gonna cure all our nation’s ills. The answer to gun…

Florida Man Breaks Into Zoo To Free The Animals

The Everglades Wonder Gardens in Bonita Springs is soon going to be closing its doors. There have been some communication with potential buyers to keep the zoo open, but so far things are just in the talking-stage. But one Florida man had a better idea. Why not just saw through the…

Mercedes-Benz Corporate Run Organizers Hint At Canceling Races UPDATED

UPDATE [5:00 p.m.]: Hans Huseby of Team Foot Works tells New Times that the Mercedes-Benz Corporate Run in West Palm Beach for Wednesday will go on as scheduled.”The West Palm Beach Police Department held a meeting today, evaluated the situation and informed us the event can go on,” Huseby says. “They…

Ban on Texting and Driving Unanimously Passes Through Senate

Texting and driving is even closer to being an illegal thing in Florida. The Senate has unanimously voted to push through Bill SB 52, banning texting while driving on Florida’s roads. The law would allow texting while a vehicle is stopped, texting while at a red light, or voice-command texting…