FSU Fan Tried to Attack Gators Fans With a Machete

The Florida State Seminoles throttled the Florida Gators 37-7 on Saturday. But that wasn’t enough for one Noles fan, who apparently wanted to add injury to insult by trying to attack some Gator fans with a machete. Ah, FSU and Gators games. It’s like the Family Feud: Inbred Week! (Also,…

Fort Lauderdale Waterpark Expected To Get The Go-Ahead, Officials Believe

Fort Lauderdale officials think they’ve finally gotten through the last of the hurdles to get a $110 million waterpark up and running nearby the Fort Lauderdale Executive Airport.. They’re so enthusiastic, in fact, that they’ve met all the Federal Aviation Administration’s regulations and concerns, that they’re expecting to get the…

Florida’s 7 Dumbest Criminals For the Month of November

Ah Florida. We have criminals, just like every other state. But we have our own special kind of criminal. Namely, dumb ones. And, because we’re never in short supply of dumb criminals, we present to you our latest series of the dumbest Florida criminals of the month. November was a…

Barenaked Ladies Cancel SeaWorld Show After Petition Hits Internet

The band Barenaked Ladies has officially canceled its February show at SeaWorld. This after a petition with about 10,000 signatures asking the band not to play at the water park hit the Interwebs. As we wrote about Thursday, backlash over SeaWorld’s treatment of killer whales, brought to light in the…

Florida Man Takes Upskirt Photos of Walmart Shopper

While you’re in the thick of all that Black Friday shopping today, you might want to be alert for other shoppers trying to take pictures of your vagina. So, you know. Be wary of that. Or wear pants. A Brookline, Florida, man was arrested for allegedly taking pictures underneath an…

Miami Heat Players Fell Asleep After Their Thanksgiving Dinner

With the Miami Heat having to play a game in Cleveland on Wednesday (really, NBA? Send the two-time champion on the road during Thanksgiving to Cleveland?), LeBron James hosted the team for Thanksgiving dinner Thursday at his Akron mansion. And, as it is with this team, once dinner was over,…

Thanksgiving In Florida: 11 Reasons We’re Thankful for Our State

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! And with the big day upon us, it’s time to reflect on things we’re thankful for. Namely: our home state. America loves picking on Florida. And maybe they have good reason. Our crime rate isn’t all that great, our politicians are morons, and then there’s that whole…

Florida Gun Sales at an All-Time, Record-Breaking High

Florida sure does love its guns. So much so that’s it’s on pace to break some of its own records in gun sales. According to figures done by the state, around 800,000 background checks for guns will have been conducted by year’s end. In 2007, that figure was around 400,000…

Rick Scott’s Voter Suppression Now Targeting Absentee Ballots

Man, Rick Scott loves to screw with voters. It’s like a hobby of his (aside from screwing the poor and screwing the environment and screwing the state, in general). First he shortened early voting days, then tried to go after minority voters via an arbitrary and contrived “voter fraud” crusade…

Club Cinema Could Be Shut Down Via a Pompano Beach Lawsuit

Looks like the city of Pompano Beach has had enough of Club Cinema and is looking to have the dance club shut down. Known for its raves, the club has kept law enforcement busy. Located on Federal Highway just south of Sample Road, it has had many a run-in with…

Dwyane Wade Won the Internet Yesterday

The Miami Heat loves winning championships. But in between all the championship winning, the players also love their fans, and they love fun. And no one typified that better than Dwyane Wade last night, before and after the Heat took down the Phoenix Suns 107-92. For starters, Wade gave away…

Florida Black Bear Crashes Toddler’s Birthday Party

A black bear decided that he too wanted to have some delicious cake and a fun bag filled with dollar-store yo-yos and Iron Man stickers, so he decided to crash a toddler’s birthday party over the weekend. According to WKMG CBS News-6 in Orlando, the bear was spotted in the…

Charlie Crist Defends Obamacare and Isn’t Worried About the Polls

At a time when Rick Scott’s cronies are raising gazillions of dollars for attack ads and other reelection goodies, Charlie Crist is out there defending Obamacare. Ballsy! At a campaign rally in Hillsborough County over the weekend, Crist went all-in in his support for Obamacare, telling the crowd that it’s…

World’s Tallest Roller Coaster Coming to Florida

Ever get off a roller coaster and think to yourself, “Sure, being flung around at 90 miles an hour until my spleen is in my throat is fun and all. But what I really want is the sensation of falling off a building to my ultimate demise!” Well, good news!…

Walmart Supercenter Is Coming to Hollywood

Miami city commissioners just approved a 203,000-square-foot, three-story Walmart superstore in Midtown, Miami last night. Not to be outdone, the retail leviathan just announced that Hollywood will also be getting its very own supermegabehemothverybig store come 2015. It’s like Oprah decided to giveaway Walmarts to all of South Florida. Only,…