When the International Federation of Competitive Eating polled 1,000 “eating athletes” for its Columbus Day pasta poll in 2003, it discovered that in matters fettuccini, there’s a woeful historical ignorance among our pasta-eating elite. Only 43 percent of the mostly male respondents, weighing in between 151 and 200 pounds, correctly…
While we Palm Beach downtown-watchers weren’t watching, something weird happened. West Palm Beach, with all its pomp and hubris, its master plans, mayoral specifying, scads of money, and fancypants developers, went precisely nowhere. Meanwhile, the little town that could, Lake Worth, a few miles south, took off like a high-speed…
Once, I was a queen… I parked my fat white ass in a deck chair while impoverished brown people from Third World countries scurried around to satisfy my every whim. Caviar? Champagne? I had only to waggle a pinkie. And if, during my five-course dinner, I wanted another filet mignon…
To get to Hoboken Grill, you must pass briefly through a black hole. It’s a lightless, uninhabited corridor of Dixie Highway, a no-fly zone between downtown West Palm Beach and the cozily gentrified neighborhood of Old Northwood. There’s not a single streetlamp on this stretch of road; warehouses and vacant…
This place is already dated,” my significant other announced as she settled into her hand-hewn wooden chair at MoQuila and lifted artisanal glassware to lips. “In ten years, we’ll look back at this and say, “My God, that was so ’05.” All the same, she looked terrific in the downlighting…
Rotting animal carcasses.” That’s the second time Terry Dalton had used that phrase. Or maybe he’d said “a plate of animal carcasses” the first time; I was too busy losing my appetite to get his words down exactly. Dalton was referring to what you and I might call “a nice,…
They called it the “storm of the century.” But that was in 1993, and by now we know we were in for bigger, badder storms before the end of the millennium. Still, that unnamed freak March tempest killed as many people in Florida as Hurricane Andrew and left $500 million…
There aren’t enough good Indian restaurants in South Florida to satisfy anybody with a passion for the complex, hearty cuisine of the land of the tiger. So when I got word that a tiny café serving aloo, paneer, pakoras, and real tandoori-baked breads had opened in Boca, I made the…
Like I’ve always said: Never trust a food critic. There she’ll go, raving about “authentic Amazonian twice-baked piranha” at some impossible-to-find dive. You trek 80 minutes through Cat 2 squalls to get there, and the fish tastes like twice-baked Nike. Or the place is “under new management”: Piranha is now…
My thermometer may read 103, but I’ve found a foolproof way to console myself. Summer’s a great time to be a glutton. Everybody’s offering deals. Those frigid restaurants I was priced out of in January are suddenly wooing me like lovesick suitors with their summer blowout sales. Take Stresa (2710…
Serafina means “angel” in Italian, and I guess with the right sky-blue backdrop, a little otherworldly lighting, and the wistful notes of a discrete off-stage choir, you could mistake Shari Woods for one of those heavenly creatures. That is, if angels fluttered around wearing low-rise jeans and tiny tank-tops. Which…
If you’ve ever tried to order wine from a Napa vintner, you know that the United States is not a free country when it comes to oenophiliacs. In Florida, wine lovers are second-class citizens, denied our God-given access to the Syrahs, Pinots, and Cabernets of our dreams. I fell in…
The late Japanese director Juzo Itami opened his famous ’80s film Tampopo with an amusing disquisition on the proper way to eat soup. A Zen master’s acolyte wants to know: When faced with the bowl — soup first? Or noodles? “First, observe the whole bowl,” his master says. “Appreciate its…
If you can afford to dine at Café L’Europe (331 S. County Rd., Palm Beach, 561-655-4020) on a regular basis, it’s unlikely you’re sweltering through an August in SoFla. Maybe Norbert and Lidia Goldner, who own this 25-year-old goldmine, know that. To celebrate the café’s silver anniversary, in a gesture…
I’ve been to Paris in August, and it was no picnic. The place is a wasteland of shuttered boulangeries and vacant park benches. The entire country takes a national break in late summer, and you have to be a serious loser to be stuck at some Eiffel Tower kiosk scooping…
“You know what would be perfect?” my significant other mused recently. “One of those places where you get all dressed up and go eat lobster tails and prime rib. And there’s a big band playing so you can dance after dinner.” “Supper clubs,” I said. “Copacabana. Venetian Room. Kit Kat…
The guy looming over our table would be scary if you met him in some pitch-black alley at 4 a.m. For one thing, he’s big. Pitted face, great bushy brows. For another, he’s holding something heavy in his hands. “Excuse me,” he says. “My English. Is not so good.” Our…
I remember my first, mind-altering bite of Thai cooking with pristine clarity. From a culinary standpoint, I’d been sound asleep: That mouthful woke me up like the sloppy kiss of Prince Charming. I was working for a publisher in London; my parents had blown in for a visit. My mother…
America. B.D’s Mongolian Barbecue. Big City Tavern. City Hall Bar and Grill. Dax. Pescatore. Rooney’s Irish Pub. Samba Room. Sforza. Tommy Bahama’s. Underground Coffee Works. You’ve just read an abridged list of restaurants that died expensive and miserable deaths in the heart of downtown West Palm Beach in the past…
Somewhere between Key Largo and Mallory Square, between Lake Surprise and Lignum Vitae Channel on that endless stretch of Route 1 below Mile Marker 111 in the Florida Keys, there may be a piece of something that precisely fits the hole in your heart. Maybe you’ll fall for the gigantic…
Even after 17 years of marriage, Michelle Lai is in awe of her husband. She talks about Kai Shing Lai the way some people describe tortured-genius painters or world-class violinists. The only difference is that Kai Shing is a Chinese chef working in the modest kitchen of a North Lauderdale…
You can have too much of a good thing. But not of the agnolotti rosa, a dish you could probably savor indefinitely: those silky, silver-dollar-sized rounds of homemade ravioli, scalloped edges folded around a dab of spinach and ricotta, tossed in a fresh tomato cream sauce. Marco Vico was telling…
