If Andy Rooney were doing commentary for the 2007 Winterfest Boat Parade, it would sound something like this: “Have you ever wondered why people on boats always wave at the people on shore? It’s like they’re saying, ‘Hey, we’re on a boat, and you’re not.’ Why not just blow kisses…
Reuniting with your family during the Holidays isn’t always a joyous experience: You and your siblings may be all grown up now, but you still bicker and scrap at the dinner table like when you were pimply 12-year-olds. Your mother (bless her soul) gets sloshed on boxed wine, and your…
What’s it take to get a Mixed Martial Arts organization off the ground? Ricky Folse knows. The MMA/boxing/kickboxing vet of 45 bouts was getting frustrated with the lack of fights in his home state of Louisiana (stemming, he says, from controversy over the “brutal” nature of the sport). So Folse…
Led Zeppelin is one of those bands whose songs can be played in just about any configuration and still rock. Case in point: Puff Daddy’s cover of “Kashmir.” It was an unholy marriage, but you still wanted to tap your feet whenever Puffy shut his fat hole (however briefly). A…
It’s no secret that ghosts never age — the fluffy specters gain all the benefits of growing older and wiser without ever experiencing an added wrinkle or blemish. And since they love to mature (you never have to console them when they pout about their graying hair), ghost birthday parties…
In terms of pure Xs and Os, there’s probably a better chance of Ricky Williams’ torn pectoral muscle donning pads and winning the rushing title than the Dolphins notching a win this week against the Ravens. Which is why fans need to turn to a more creative system — divorced…
Improvisational guru Greg Proops is a strange cat, really; strange enough to refer to himself on his website in almost a dozen totally odd ways: Proopkitty, Dr. P, Darth Proops, Mr. Proopwell, Prooples, and, of course, Proopdog. While this could be a sign that schizophrenia has finally set in, it’s…
There isn’t any musical fame barometer as iconic as a Rolling Stone cover photo. Even in the early days of rock, a band that got its picture taken for the cover was saying to the world, “We’ve arrived, and we’re officially a Big Fucking Deal.” There have been movies about…
Hollywood is a helluva rough place, especially for a pre-pubescent funny girl harboring dreams bigger than her parents’ dingy, one-room loft. So starts Carol Burnett’s semi-autobiographical opus, Hollywood Arms. The coming-of-age tale was adapted from Burnett’s memoirs, One More Time, by her and her daughter Carrie Hamilton. For Burnett, who…
When’s the last time you had an inspiring conversation that made you think? (No, the one where you debated the similarities between Optimus Prime and Jesus doesn’t count.) Well, according to the folks at the Palm Beach Cultural Council, a little in-depth discussion is an important part of growing a…
A quarter of the NHL season is officially in the books, making right about now gut-check time for our own Florida Panthers. Thanks to a late November streak, the Panthers are sitting in second place in the admittedly weak Southeast division, and the next few games could decide the final…
Remember eighth grade English class, when you sat in the back of the room, doodling D&D characters into your notebook, only marginally paying attention to the teacher? You were an angst-ridden little guy, defiant to a fault, but when it came time to discuss Beowulf you perked right up and…
These days, there aren’t many superstars in the Pro Billiards arena – especially since pool lost perhaps its brightest star last year, Steve “the Miz” Mizerak. The Miz was a dominating player – he won his first tourney at 13, topped the U.S. Open Championships four times, and was inducted…
Ferrets are the perpetual children of the animal world – give one an old cereal box and an excised pant leg to crawl through, and she’ll imagine it into a beautiful castle with long hallways fit for a regal procession. There, Queen Snickers will reign over her all her miniature…
There’s something pleasantly ironic about well-mannered, artsy types saddling up to the “Starchild” himself, Paul Stanley, and having a civil conversation about modern art while purchasing one of his paintings. Would it surprise you if, at any moment, he pulled out a flying V guitar, knocked some old broad over…
I’m not bragging, but if it weren’t for me, my parents would never try new food. When I first took them to a Japanese restaurant, Dad squirmed at the sight of raw toro; Mom wondered what reason there could be to eat something rolled in seaweed. Five years later, they…
Despite being saddled with a crappy name, the FAU Owls (wouldn’t Raging Hooters have been so much better?) are in control of their own destiny entering the final two games of the season. The Owls have improved dramatically under Head Coach Howard Schnellenberger since entering Division 1-A in 2005, and…
Query: Why did Roman soldiers eschew the mammoth greatswords of early Viking combatants in favor of small, thrusting shortswords like the gladius? (It certainly wasn’t sword envy.) Don’t know the answer? That’s OK, because Larry Rabin, a.k.a. Sir Alaric of Hopeless Romantics Entertainment does. Rabin is a professional stage combatant,…
In order for a music venue to be qualified as truly “kick-ass, dude,” it’s got to have a combination of characteristics that resemble Goldilocks’ porridge: Not so big that it loses intimacy, not so small that you’re unintentionally swapping body fluids with the person next to you. A sound system…
You’re tired of canned cranberries, listless about dry turkey, and getting more and more nauseous over the thought of sitting next to your creepy Aunt Beatrix at the family table (she’s wheezing into the mashed potato bowl, for Pete’s sake). Fear not, friend. You don’t have to spend another miserable…
You just can’t pigeon-hole Miami-based group Cleaveland Jones – doing so would be like trying to corral a roller-skating hippo who’s tripping on peyote – but you can try to connect the stray bits of sound and see if it all makes sense. Squealing, whammy fueled guitar licks that cascade…
It seems Lisa Corrao and her band of rogue comics still have a score to settle with jocks everywhere, because tonight marks the third incarnation of her pleasantly geeky show, Revenge of the Nerd Comics. Returning for more punishment are the ever-lovable cast of geeks, Mike Lawrence, Patrick Schroeder, and…
