On the national stage, Florida has a golden reputation for its broad-ranging public records laws, called “Sunshine Laws.” But in practice, our government institutions are often piss-poor, stonewalling citizens with noncompliance and intimidation when they request to see certain documents.Proving that point has become the life’s work of Joel Chandler,…
The Miami Heat, in desperate need to have someone grab more than four rebounds a game (seriously, the Heat are currently ranked 29th in rebounds, which is just straight-up ass), worked out Chris “Birdman” Andersen two weeks ago and apparently liked what they saw enough to sign him to a…
Gun lovers around the country designated this past Saturday, January 19, a “gun appreciation day.” In Utah, a guy celebrated by bringing an assault rifle into a JC Penney, and five others celebrated by getting shot at gun shows in Ohio, Indiana, and North Carolina. Locally, the Delray Shooting Center…
Today, a less popular, but in some ways, stronger Barack Obama will become our president for four more years — well, kinda. Sure, he already took the oath yesterday, but that was just the wedding ceremony without the reception. Today’s the party. So what can we expect? Exactly that: a…
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has been on the lookout for an escaped grizzly bear in Naples. The 125-pounder named Booboo apparently escaped from a private ranch near Naples in the Golden Gate Estates area on Tuesday. Which means this little guy’s been hanging around, going through people’s…
Palm Beach County Schools Superintendent Wayne Gent says the county will add about 30 school police aides to increase security at schools. As it stands, the district will spend about $400,000 to do so. See also: Palm Beach Mayors Call for Metal Detectors in Schools The district will also wrap…
Some dog owners are cruel, which is bad enough on its own. But some dog owners are just assholes. West Palm Beach resident Reginald Johnson was unhappy about something his gray pitbull Trinity did, so he decided to punish her. By hanging her on a tree…
Ricardo Davis and his girlfriend got into a verbal spat, as some couples are apt to do. And sure, sometimes the arguments between you and your lady end badly, like someone calling the other’s mother a bad name. But according to Palm Bay Police, Davis apparently decided to end this…
Whenever a showdown between LeBron James and Kobe Bryant goes down, the suddenly-not-all-that-important regular season becomes ALL IMPORTANT. That’s because Kobe apologists and Laker fans crawl out of the woodwork to remind everyone that he has RINGZZZ and is so badass he nicknamed himself Mamba. But then there’s LeBron, who…
The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times’ crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., a statistical flow chart documenting which of your buddies’ “girlfriends” you’ve actually seen in person)…
The ladies of the Palm Beach Gardens Women’s Club are perturbed. They are resentful and suspicious of our county’s environmental activists and their anarchist tendencies. Naturally enough.In alliance with the City of Palm Beach Gardens, the club is celebrating Arbor Day today, gathering at 9:30 this morning for a tree…
With the Great Python Purge Challenge Hunt Thing 2013 well under way, it seems all kinds of folks are joining in to try to win themselves some cash for killing a python. One of those folks is apparently Sen. Bill Nelson himself. And, like pretty much everyone else involved in…
Following a day of rambling testimony, tales of cocaine and hookers, accusations of subterfuge and sprawling CIA conspiracies, Thor Holm Hansen was convicted yesterday of a 1981 bail-jumping charge after he walked out of his own trial, sailed a boat to the Bahamas, and caught a plane to extradition-free Norway…
Seventeen people were arrested in Boynton Beach by federal agents for suspicion of using stolen prescription pads to get drugs and then sell them. The arrests occurred Thursday afternoon when Drug Enforcement Administration agents swept in and booked several men on state drug charges, according to DEA spokeswoman Mia Ro…
Alexander Marcelino Perez needed a job, so he walked into Spencer’s — a sex toy and novelty shop in Bradenton — and asked for an application. But, joke was on Spencer’s, because Perez wasn’t there to apply for a job. He was there to get his rocks off.Namely, by swiping…
Fresh off admitting that he gave away the dog he had adopted before being elected once he was elected, Rick Scott has moved on to tackling more current events. Such as gun control. Specifically, gun control in Florida. And, in what has been his go-to move, Scott plans to do…
Two men met a 16-year-old boy on Grindr and engaged in some steamy-hot sexting via instant messages. This led to the three meeting up on December 12 to do some poppers and then hop into a hot tub. The three then engaged in unprotected sex. The two men, Darrell Allen…
The mayors of Riviera Beach, Belle Glade, and Magnolia Park went before the school board on Wednesday to ask the district to install metal detectors in schools. The three Palm Beach mayors have put together an online petition that has garnered more than 100 signatures so far. “There’s no limit…
President Obama held a news conference in which he unveiled 23 executive actions on gun control yesterday. And, naturally, the GOPers are up in arms and want the president impeached because gun control is tyranny and bad for liberty and un-American and other butthurt reasons. Among those that are hinting…
Last week, an earnest group of political candidates and potential voters wore their backs out in uncomfortable folding chairs for a few hours at a storefront clinic of SW 22nd Street. The event was the South Florida Democrats’ monthly debate. A moderator asked each of the four panelists questions. One…
Let’s stop wasting our attention on the crazy mofos insisting that the Sandy Hook massacre didn’t happen and direct our precious mental energy over to a group that is doing something positive for Newtown. Gentle Carousel is a Florida-based nonprofit organization that brings miniature therapy horses to visit and cheer…
With 90 seconds left in the first half, Nay’quan Wright walks slowly back to the line of scrimmage. Like his teammates on the 125-pound Miami Gardens Bulldogs, the middle linebacker is grabbing his hips and gasping for breath under a scorching December sun. The West Miramar Patriots are threatening to…
