News

We’re not sure which phrase best describes the Max Planck Institute’s response to our questions about its treatment of the hundreds of animals it holds captive and on whose nervous systems it experiments. Perhaps “Nothing to see here. Move along.” Or “We ask the questions.” We’re not happy with either.See…

Last month, seemingly overnight, thousands of razorbills arrived all along the Florida peninsula in what appeared to be a sweeping abandonment of the Northern tundra for something a little nicer. They flocked along Fort Lauderdale’s beaches, swimming in the waters of Boynton Beach, delighting bird watchers — and, finally, dying…

The Florida Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco wanted to nab themselves a moonshiner. Because moonshiners are apparently still a thing in the 21st Century.  (This is Florida, after all) So they placed a fake ad on the most obvious place a moonshiner would look. Craigslist! “Looking for some strong moonshine,”…

Lisa Frink allegedly cut her boyfriend with a pair of knives because he didn’t want to give her his government assistance card to buy food. The cops were called in to quell the domestic disturbance. But when they tried to arrest Frink, she went into full defense mode. She did…

Shootings. Death. College professors spewing out conspiracy theories. People masturbating in coffee shops. There just aren’t ever enough good things to report ’round here. UNTIL NOW…

Amazing to think, but Floridians have been not winning the Florida Lottery for 25 years now. So, to commemorate a quarter of a century of billboards promising millions, and stops to the gas station for a few dozen quick picks purchases, the lottery is going all Miami Dolphins on us…

It was not as thrilling as, perhaps, the sight of Dick Cheney on trial for war crimes, but Wednesday’s meeting of the South Florida chapter of weepoid conspiracy monger Glenn Beck’s 9-12 movement was quite the satisfying experience. This was particularly so as they met under the looming shadow of…

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times’ crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., walking down South Beach last Monday night, calculating the ratio of weeping Irishmen compared with redneck testicles, multiplied to the Nth degree,…

Newly minted Broward Sheriff Scott Israel isn’t screwing around. First he gets into office and starts firing people willy-nilly, and now this. Israel has suspended Broward Sheriff’s Officers Lt. Dave Benjamin and Det. Jeff Poole. The reason for the suspensions: The Scott Rothstein effect…

Meris Kott has a thing for gold. The Boca Raton woman wonders if her daughter would like gold for her birthday. She studies gold use in other countries. She’s got one of those old-timed gold obsessions we hear about in stories — in which pirates whisper there be GOLD –…

Something about Starbucks that makes Floridians want to uncontrollably play with themselves. Back in November, we told you about a woman who had been arrested in Bradenton for masturbating inside a Starbucks. Now comes the news that a man was arrested for exposing himself and touching himself inside a Osceola…

In a shocking twist to the James Tracy story comes the news that James Tracy isn’t backing down from his comments about Sandy Hook. “I think that the entire country mourned about Sandy Hook and yet, once again, the investigation that journalistic institutions should have actually carried out never took…

Alachua County deputies were responding to a crash of a trailer on I-75 over the weekend. A routine part of the job. What they didn’t realize was that the trailer involved in the crash was ripped open during the accident. And what poured out was a giant-ass bull that proceeded…

In the wake of yesterday’s damning and international condemnation of James Tracy’s allegations that the Sandy Hook massacre hadn’t happened — though apparently our commenters agree with him — one group has flocked to the embattled professor’s aid: his students. Yesterday, his former student, Ryan Cortes, who’s taken three of…

Remember when Donald Trump went on The YouTube and demanded Barack Huseeeeeein Obama release his college records to prove that a black man can not only be president of the United States but also a college graduate? In return, Trump promised to give money to a charity of Obama’s choice…

SpaceX, the California company that plans to help NASA and perhaps become the world leader in space travel, announced yesterday in Washington that it would send a man to space by 2015.The firm will send one of its own employees. Last year, it was the number one private firm to…

By now, pretty much everyone has seen, read about or has heard of Maria Louise Del Rosario, aka The Anus Tattoo Girl.Since the New Times broke her amazing journey of being a pioneer of getting one’s asshole tatted up, the internet has exploded (three million views in the first three…

The video titled “Thank you, I will miss you guys” is barely more than a minute long — all one shaky, handheld shot trained on the face of then–21-year-old Ben Vacas. Vacas, known online as Braindeadly, has big brown eyes, a faux hawk, a stubbly goatee and a British accent,…

Days before this past November’s election at a cramped deli off Biscayne Boulevard in Aventura, a new yellow Camaro glided into the parking lot and hummed to a rest. An Obama 2012 sticker was pasted onto its bumper. The driver was five hours late. But inside Mo’s Bagels, none of…