President Barack Obama had just trounced Mitt Romney, but he was still frustrated. You could hear it. “I want to thank every American who participated in this election, whether you voted for the very first time or waited in a line for a very long time.” Pause. “By the way,…
Thanks to our neighbors, who are absolutely the best at doing destructive, disastrous, and just plain stupid things, Floridians have become the butt of the country’s jokes. Lady who tried to ride a manatee? Yep, right here. Lifeguard fired for saving a life? Mm-hmm, that was us. The state that kept counting…
Thanksgiving dinner can be a chore, or it can be a hoot. But mostly, it can be a pain in the ass. Particularly when your family annoys the crap out of you. As it is most years, you’re either traveling somewhere or having family coming in from out of town…
A good sign your dentist might not really be a dentist: when he has his office in an apartment complex. Also, when he injects some weird paste into your mouth to relieve the pain. Also, if he gives you an injection in your butt and says it’s for the toothache…
Well now, here’s a story to warm your Thanksgiving cockles. An orthopedic resident at Broward Health Medical Center delivered his own son while in the emergency-room parking lot. Dr. Timothy Hawkes was forced to make the delivery before getting to the hospital when he realized the baby was crowning. His…
Tomorrow is the Thanksgiving. Which means, unless you’re traveling, you’re home, chillin, watching the parade, some football, and eating until your pants splode. Of course, you’ll inevitably have that moment where you remember that you forgot to buy enough deserts, or learn that your Uncle is bringing his mistress for…
Jeb Bush’s son Jeb Bush Jr. appeared on CNN yesterday to answer the typical CNN-y type questions about why the Republicans are a sad, sad party to which blacks and Latinos were invited but got the Oh, I’d love to but I got a thing answer at the polls. But…
A few days ago, Jill Kelley’s sister — the one Charlie Crist most positively never ever dated — retained celebrity attorney Gloria Allred for reasons unknown. So, we decided to ask. Why did Natalie Khawam enlist someone so high-profile? Allred has represented Nicole Simpson’s family against OJ, a Chicago woman…
As you start your traditional Thanksgiving eve binge-drinking fest this evening, take a second and pour out some of that delicious boxed wine for all the endangered Florida panthers that have died this year.As documented by New Times, 2012 has been brutal on the big cats. And things took a…
Melissa Miller of Port St. Lucie was speeding down U.S. 1 in Fort Pierce at 1 a.m. Tuesday. As she clocked in at 100 mph in a 30-mph zone, she began to blast her car horn. But it’s totally cool that she did all that because, according to the cops…
A substitute teacher at Palm Beach Lakes High School has reportedly been fired after he allegedly got into a brawl with a student at the school. The fight was caught on a cell phone camera by another student. The incident occurred back on November 8, around 2 p.m. The video…
With the news that Allen West has given up his fight after he demanded a recount and then saw that his opponent got even more votes as a result of that recount and therefore conceded, we’re happy but also sad. West’s defeat is a win for America because, holy crap,…
Pill-poppin’ conservative blowfish blowhard Rush Limbaugh remains butthurt about Obama winning the election. However! Rush knows how and why the president was able to connive his way back into the White House. It was because he purposely wrecked the economy so he could then play Santa Claus and give free…
After a heated contest for the 18th District, a vote tally that saw him lose, a partial recount that saw him lose, and another recount that saw him lose even more, Allen West is finally, for real, no kidding this time, officially conceding the election to Patrick Murphy.West released a…
Around 11:30 a.m. Sunday, a group of 19 or so divers were exploring the waters of Palm Beach when an unexpected visitor showed up. The beast? A giant whale shark.”It just came right through the middle of the divers,” says Van Blakeman, captain of Narcosis, the dive boat that was…
After only two years, Richard DeNapoli is done. Chairing the perennially underachieving Broward County Republicans — like coaching any team that sucks — hasn’t been easy, and DeNapoli, who’s a tad thin-skinned, won’t seek reelection. “It’s not a glamorous position,” he said, adding he’s taking a position in another part…
Earlier today we talked about how Marco Rubio is gonna charisma his way to the top of the presidential charts in 2016. As part of the whole getting himself into the psyches of sad Republicans, Rubes sat down with GQ for an interview. In the Q&A, Rubio was asked how…
Fort Lauderdale Airport service workers gathered for what they called a peaceful “Thanksgiving Prayer” rally and protest to demand just compensation. Put together by property services union SEIU 32BJ, the protest saw roughly 80 people, including baggage handlers, cleaners, community supporters, and clergy, gather outside Departure-Terminal 1 at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport…
Election night, Chicago. President Barack Obama had just trounced Mitt Romney, but he’s still frustrated. You can hear it. “I want to thank every American who participated in this election, whether you voted for the very first time or waited in a line for a very long time.” Pause. “By…
Just as he did in his defining moment in Iraq, Allen West tried to strong-arm the law in this election and break it to his will. But the law bounced back and bit him in the ass. The disgraced former military officer and confessed, unrepentant torturer will soon — after much cynical, hyper-legalistic…
With Mitt Romney off blaming his election loss on Obama’s gifts to everyone (by the way, we’re still waiting on our GIFT, Mr. President!), the GOPers are scrambling around trying to convince everyone that they totally like 47 percent of America now and that health care ain’t so bad. Also,…
St. Lucie County Election County Canvassing Board missed its noon Sunday deadline to file results of their recount of 37,379 ballots to the state Division of Elections. Which means Allen West lost. Again. The recount actually gained more votes for Murphy. But even that didn’t matter because under Florida law,…
