The Sinister Secret Meanings Behind Valentine’s Day Candy

Let's face it. Valentine's Day is this big made-up holiday that was invented by the flower, candy and card industries to shame people into buying their crap at least one day out of the year.  Sure, the guy you're seeing bought you some candy and took you to Denny's for...
By Laine Doss
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Let’s face it. Valentine’s Day is this big made-up holiday that was invented by the flower, candy and card industries to shame people into buying their crap at least one day out of the year.  Sure, the guy you’re seeing bought you some candy and took you to Denny’s for a romantic Grand Slam last year. But that candy – that innocent box of candy is fraught with more secret meanings than the Mona Lisa. We’ve decoded some Valentine’s Day candy so you’ll really know what your lover meant when he gave you those bon bons.

“The bad news it that it’s not a rash. The good news is that the doctor says it’s easily curable”.

 

“You know that ring you’ve been waiting for?  Here it is”.

 

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, covering the restaurant and bar scene in South Florida. She has been featured on Cooking Channel’s Eat Street and Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race. Doss won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature on what it’s like to wait tables. In a previous life, she appeared off-Broadway and shook many a cocktail as a bartender at venues in South Florida and New York City. When she’s not writing, you can find Doss running some marathon then celebrating at the nearest watering hole.

Food & Drink Editor Nicole Lopez-Alvar If you value independent journalism, please consider making a contribution to support our continued coverage of Miami's evolving dining scene and the latest culinary innovations our community offers.
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