Audio By Carbonatix
As of this writing, Rep. Allen West of Florida’s 22nd District has been in office just shy of seven weeks. He was famous before he arrived. He gave Rep. Ron Klein a righteous stomping in the November elections, and before West took his first breath as a congressman, an anarchic campaign was already a’bellowing from the depths of the web for a West presidential run in 2012. (West has lately said that he’s too inexperienced.)
Since West gave the closing remarks at CPAC three weeks ago, however, he has ascended from mere fame into the lofty reaches of celebrity. Here’s how.
CPAC: Allen West spoke at CPAC of the “three pillars of
conservatism.” Those are: “effective and efficient constitutional
government,” “peace through strength,” and “never abandon our values.”
The first two “pillars” are obvious enough; the third West articulated
by explaining why the Constitution was intended only for Christians and
how gay marriage is bad for the economy. (Note: It is not a
“traditional value” to worry about the economic impact of matrimonial
sodomy. A congressman who worries about such things is not only a
radical but something of a kinkypants.) West stole the show, and even
Ron Paul’s most rabid fanboys left the convention saying West was the
best.
The Gingrich Bump: Last week, Newt Gingrich implied
that West would be near the very top of his list of possible veeps,
should the former speaker of the House seek and obtain the
Republican nomination for president. If he’s smart, he’ll do it. Putting West on the
ticket would go a long way toward guaranteeing that Gingrich, or
whoever, wins Florida come 2012. And imagine what West’d do to Joe Biden in a debate. Terrifying.
The Gingrich Bump, Part II: As
soon as news of Gingrich’s statement hit the interwebs, rank-and-file Republicans swooped to the keyboards to protest. They weren’t protesting Gingrich’s
endorsement but Gingrich’s presumption. A typical comment from Daily Caller:
“HA!!!!! So Newt would consider West huh. Is he joking? Newt would be
lucky if West considered ‘him’ for his chief of staff!!!!” The
sentiment was repeated again and again, on website after website.
Ramping Up the War on Terror Islam: (Hey
— that’s West’s phrase, not mine. If you don’t like it, take it up
with the Colonel.) Allen West is rightly well-known for his singularly
strident speeches in which he inevitably makes a point of explaining
that America’s enemy isn’t al Qaeda, radical Islam, or even radicalism
in general (oh, how I wish we had a politician willing to say that) but
ordinary, garden-variety Islam — the kind practiced by your next-door
neighbor or Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Which distresses some people. American
Muslims, say. One such fellow is Nezar Hamze, who showed up at one of
West’s town hall meetings in Pompano Beach last week to confront the
congressman on his repeated attacks of Islam. The ensuing confrontation
made it to YouTube and has caused the Westians to voice their lustiest
Westiphilian cries to date. Even though West rose to fame via YouTube
and even though this particular video is only days old, it is already his
third-most popular, fast approaching half a million views.
Ramping Up the War on Terror Islam, Part II: At New Times,
we felt the full weight of Allen West’s growing fanbase when we gave
Nezar Hamze an opportunity to publish his thoughts on his Westian
adventure. His post has received more than 200 comments — more than any blog
post on this website in months. Most of them call for Hamze’s head.
Sexy Posed Shot in WashPo: If
you take a look in this week’s WashPo magazine, you’ll find a big,
beautiful spread of Allen West, along with a couple of hundred of his own
words explaining his approach to governance. “You never want to question
what’s right,” he says, and we know he means it — Allen West is a man to
whom right and wrong are never questions, always facts. You’ve never
seen anyone so presidential as the Allen West in the WashPo photo.
He looks big enough and strong enough to rip the legs from a wild
boar. His eyes are solemn yet flinty, full of sly smarts. He is
poised as a puma in repose, and his suit is crisp and expensive. His Army
helmet bag, which he holds between his legs, is worn, lived in, and
loved. Between the smart threads and the soldier gear, Allen West looks ready to go anywhere.
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