The Miami Heat walked into the all-consuming ocean of douche and insufferableness that is Boston's TD Garden Monday night and laid its record-setting 22-game winning streak on the line. The Celtics were ready from the GO and came at the Heat with a furious effort that spawned a career night...
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Every couple of weeks, Florida media trumpet a new invasion from some awful creature. Already in 2013, scientists have warned us about giant mosquitoes, giant rats, and giant snails (oh. my.). Little can be done to stop them. But the least New Times could do is prepare loyal readers for...
There's a veritable menu of weird-sounding vagina-focused procedures offered by local chop shop plastic surgery chain Strax Rejuvenation.G-spot amplification is a "lunch time procedure" that results in "enhanced sexual arousal" for 87 percent of "normally sexually functioning women." Hymenoplasty can "repair the hymen as if nothing ever occurred." And augmentation...
LMS is one of the handful of local MCs whom we like to write about because of their sheer dedication to the game, productivity, sense of community, and in hopes that the locals will awaken to realize the awesome amount of hip-hop that is basically everywhere in South Florida. While...
The election was literally six days ago (well, OK, two days ago if you count Florida), and Florida Republicans are butthurt about the results. So the fine folks at Public Policy Polling thought it would be a neat idea to exploit that GOPer melancholy and the infinite sadness and ask...
The information swirling around about the Rick Ross shooting right now is fat on rumor, light on facts. But among the speculation passing from mouth to mouth is that the gunfire directed at the rap mogul was connected to his well-publicized beef with the Gangster Disciples, a Chicago-based gangbanger outfit...
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On paper Mavericks High School has all the makings a good charter school. Catchy name? Check. Celebrity endorsements? Hell yes. Political pull? Right into the White House. So what exactly is the problem? Well, there's the whole issue of proper usage of government funding, but does that really matter? Did...
St. Lucie County Election County Canvassing Board missed its noon Sunday deadline to file results of their recount of 37,379 ballots to the state Division of Elections. Which means Allen West lost. Again. The recount actually gained more votes for Murphy. But even that didn't matter because under Florida law,...
In 2011, when nutritionist and holistic health coach Elena Pezzo, owner of Green Bar & Kitchen, learned of her brother Anthony's stroke and subsequent coma, she was devastated. Only a few years earlier, the 33-year-old New York native had lost both of her parents and had battled poor health and...
Two men met a 16-year-old boy on Grindr and engaged in some steamy-hot sexting via instant messages. This led to the three meeting up on December 12 to do some poppers and then hop into a hot tub. The three then engaged in unprotected sex. The two men, Darrell Allen...
Hoping to keep her seat on the WPB City Commission, Shanon Materio led off her re-election campaign with the class envy card, trying to paint her opponent, Gregg Weiss, as a dilettante and an elitist.See also:-Bizarro Smear CampaignHer camp followed that up with a political reverse flip, suggesting Weiss was...
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New Times Says No to MLB
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So, you consider yourself a foodie. But are you an adventurous foodie? You haven't really taken the plunge into becoming a full-fledged gastronome until you've traveled to some far off destination with stories about how you hand-picked coffee berries straight from the tree in Costa Rica.If you think you have...
Three years ago, the City of Riviera Beach destroyed multimillionaire Fane Lozman's home. At the time, city officials said Lozman's 60-foot, two-story floating home was not a vessel and therefore ordered it dismantled at the marina where it was docked. Work crews spent five days dismantling the house as Fozman...
Robert Levinson, a Coral Springs private detective, disappeared in March of 2007 while visiting Kish Island in Iran while researching a cigarette-smuggling case. In March of 2011, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced that the U.S. State Department had received indications that Levinson was being held somewhere in southwest Asia,...
While it may cost him his job, possibly, and his peace of mind, certainly, FAU Professor Deandre Poole's late February classroom exercise has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams, indisputably. Not since Gainesville pastor Terry Jones in 2010 got the Muslim world in an uproar by threatening to build a bonfire...
Before you hit the bar on Tuesday night to watch the election results roll in (and either toast to victory or drink away defeat, provided this doesn't turn into the ongoing shit-storm some are predicting) why not put a little food in that belly? A few local restaurants and bars...
The weak and the strong, who got it goin' on?We lived in the dark for so longThe weak and the strong, Darwin got it goin' on Creationism is dead wrong."The verse from the hook to rapper Baba Brinkman's intellectually provocative song "Natural Selection," demonstrate that the scholarly Canadian lyricist does not...
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Depending on your perspective, Zooey Deschanel is either the cutest, funniest, most adorable little retro-kookster on earth, or she’s an irritating try-hard with zero comedy chops. The only thing the world seems able to universally agree on is that Deschanel has nice bangs. As such, her sitcom — New Girl,...
Why is there evil in the world?" That question and its corollaries — Where does evil come from? Why can so many create and commit it with apparent immunity? — are at the core of the film Bless Me, Ultima, whose seven-year-old hero, Antonio, wrestles with riddles that have likely...
Fresh off admitting that he gave away the dog he had adopted before being elected once he was elected, Rick Scott has moved on to tackling more current events. Such as gun control. Specifically, gun control in Florida. And, in what has been his go-to move, Scott plans to do...
When it comes to food, nothing says Valentine's Day like a big box of chocolates, an indulgent dinner and a bottle of wine or champagne.Funny that -- from a health standpoint -- it's possible each of these things can ruin the mood for love faster than a punch to the...