An eight year-old girl was happily feeding dolphins at SeaWorld’s Dolphin Cove when one of them lunged from out of the water and bit her hand. Jillian Thomas, who was visiting the SeaWorld Orlando park with her parents from Georgia, was lined up with other children, feeding the dolphins from…
Just because Allen West isn’t around to yell COMMIE! at people from his seat in congress, doesn’t mean he’s not going to stop saying loopy things. West spoke to NPR’s Michel Martin over the weekend to discuss the election and his memories of being in congress.In the interview, West tells Martin that…
In the least shocking news of the entire history of human persons, Sports Illustrated has named LeBron James the 2012 Sportsman of the Year. All LeBron pretty much did this year is cleave the earth with his astounding awesomeness by winning his first NBA title for your Miami Heat, won…
Just weeks before Christmas, the Miami Dolphins were supposed to pull another big win out of their collective asses to inch closer to an improbable post-season berth. Instead, they delivered a stocking full of turds in the form of a 23-16 loss to the New England Patriots. There’s plenty of blame…
Delray Beach Police were called when a man was seen running around his neighborhood, and throwing random things out of his house into his outside plants. Among the things the man threw at the outside plants: a ladder, a CO2 tank, and some credit cards. Also, the outside plants were…
As you may have heard, Allen West lost his election battle with Patrick Murphy, as well as math. But the fine folks at Stand Up Florida want to remind West not to lose his battle with common sense. On Saturday, local constituents will be putting up a lighted message at…
Hard to believe it’s been 25 years since a group of folks gathered in San Francisco to commemorate and remember loved ones who had passed away from AIDS. This small gathering gave birth to the AIDS Quilt, which eventually gave birth to World AIDS Day — officially observed every December…
One of the wonderful things about Obama’s winning reelection is watching the GOPers immerse themselves in doing what they do best: making loud noises and saying crazy shit that makes even certifiably crazy people say, “Whoa. Thassome crazy shit.” But amid the thicket of Benghazi ramblings and other frivolous stuff,…
The Dolphins and Patriots face off this Sunday at Sun Life Stadium for the first time this season. And even though New England is a heavy favorite, history has proven that this matchup can go in any direction. This isn’t the most heated rivalry in the AFC East (both teams…
Florida Atlantic University is reporting that an armed intruder has been spotted on their Boca campus. Early reports say the intruder is in the Arts & Letters building. He is described is a black male, about five-foot-ten, with a muscular build. He is reportedly wearing white pants and a white shirt. Police…
Former Miami Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall was asked about the latest rash of NFL player suspensions tied to amphetamines, including the ADHD drug Adderall. Marshall, who is now playing with the Chicago Bears, answered that he doesn’t know much about Adderall but that he’s heard of players taking boner…
A few weeks ago, we told you about a group of Floridans fed up with all that government interference (like roads and hospitals and police and stuff) and put together a petition on the White House’s website to allow the state to “peacefully” secede from the United States LEST OBAMA…
Michael Venditto, a Boca Raton cheerleading coach, was arrested Wednesday on charges of sexual battery and unlawful sexual activity involving two teenage girls, according to the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office. Venditto, 27, is charged with unlawful sexual activity with one of his 17-year-old cheerleaders, and also allegedly committed lewd…
Two people reportedly won the giant huge Powerball drawing was last night. AND NEITHER OF THOSE PEOPLE WERE YOU. And, even though this was a Florida lottery thing and Florida bought most of the tickets, nobody from Florida actually won. Because Jesus hates you, Florida. The winning tickets were apparently…
Rick Scott announced today that home and business security company ADT will be bringing 120 new jobs over the next two years to Boca Raton. Last month, Palm Beach County commissioners approved $184,000 in incentives to ADT. These new jobs will add to the nearly 700 ADT employees already based…
According to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office, Esric Davis had himself the worst possible day imaginable when he couldn’t satisfy his lady sexually and then got the crap beat out of him by her. Raquel Gonzalez was arrested and charged with felony domestic battery and is being held in the…
A St. Petersburg man was arrested after he killed his roommate by stabbing him in the chest with a kitchen knife. The reason for the murder? A dispute over a missing corn dog. Corey Lamont Walker, 36, was arrested on a second-degree murder charge after he attacked Anthony Kimball Smith,…
Boca Raton millionaire Marty O’Boyle doesn’t like politicians scandalizing up his county, dag gummit. So he’s doing what any millionaire with loads of time on his hands would do to combat such a thing: He’s going to fly a big-ass blimp over Palm Beach County to shame elected officials when they…
In case you didn’t know, tonight is the big, huge, very gigantic Florida Powerball drawing. And even though the odds of getting hit in the face by a bolt of lightning are far better than winning the Powerball, people in Florida are still apparently buying tickets for it in droves…
The family of Ana Gloria Garcia-Gutierrez, the 53-year-old St. Petersburg woman arrested for molesting a manatee, is none too fired up about cops arresting her after she committed a crime. Police arrested Gutierrez at her job in a St. Petersburg Sears over the weekend on a warrant for violating the…
It was only a matter of time before the whole Elmo sex scandal thing had a Florida connection. Because a gay sex puppet scandal ain’t a gay sex puppet scandal until the Sunshine State gets involved, dammit! A Florida man identified only as “John” filed a lawsuit in U.S. District…
Florida Power & Light Co. and Progress Energy Florida won approval by the state on Monday to charge customers $294 million in costs for future nuclear facilities in 2013. Which means your monthly FPL bill will go up by at least $2.59. Hooorrray, Florida! On Tuesday, Florida’s Public Service Commission…
