New Times’ Beerfest Is Saturday: Come On Out and Get Your Beer On!

Beer is awesome. Festivals are awesome. IT’S ONLY NATURAL TO COMBINE THE TWO. And that’s exactly what’s going down Saturday at the 17th-annual New Times’ Original Beerfest, presented by Isle Casino. What is Beerfest, exactly? Well, it’s only a time when breweries from all over the U.S. convene in our…

Nine Reasons Jacksonville Jaguars Fans Are the Worst

The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game and list reasons why the Dolphins will or won’t win while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won’t. Not us. Not here. Instead,…

Pam Bondi Officially Opposes Lesbian Couple’s Divorce

Pam Bondi is once again opposing same-sex marriage rights in Florida. On Wednesday, the attorney general filed papers in Broward County Circuit Court saying that Palm Beach resident Heather Brassner and her former partner, Megan Lade, should not be granted a petition for divorce. Brassner and Lade were joined together…

Festivus Pole to Be Erected Next to Manger in Delray Beach

Last year, Deerfield Beach activist, blogger, and self-proclaimed “militant atheist” Chaz Stevens made headlines when he put up a Festivus Pole in the Florida Capitol rotunda. Last year’s pole — which was an eight-foot-tall pole made of Pabst Plue Ribbon beer cans — was inspired by Tallahassee officials allowing Christian…

FPL Is Asking for Public Funds to Fight Off Clean Water Rules

Florida Power & Light wants to use public funds to fight off clean water rules. FPL went before the Florida Public Service Commission on Wednesday, asking it to allow the utility company to collect $228,500 from ratepayers to lobby against proposed water rules by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. The…

Ten Reasons the Dolphins Will Win the AFC East

We sling a lot of poop at the Miami Dolphins around these parts. And for good reason. They suck. They tend to stuff all our Sundays, loyalties, and hope into a cannon and fire it into an active volcano like Xenu. But screw that. We’re going to forge ahead and…

Boca Prankster Vitaly Zdorovetskiy Strikes Again With Chainsaw-Massacre Gag

Boca Raton resident and all-around internet sensation Vitaly Zdorovetskiy has struck a viral nerve once again with a gruesome and terrifying chainsaw-massacre prank. The 22-year-old Russian prankster, whom New Times profiled last year, has taken his pranking ways up a notch by fooling poor unsuspecting people into thinking they’re not…

Trial to Decide if Man Needs Medical Marijuana Restarts Monday

With Election Day three weeks away, the decision over whether medical marijuana will be legalized in Florida hangs in the balance. And today, in what is a first for Florida, a jury will be deciding if marijuana is medically necessary for someone. The trial of Jesse Teplicki, which started Monday…