Back in November, we told you about how Christopher Castillo of Melbourne, Florida, was so mad at President Obama for wanting to implement a health-care law that he took to Facebook and threatened to hunt down the president and watch him die. See also: Florida Man Arrested for Multiple Threats…
Hey, LeBron James. Hi. Hello. How are you? See the news about the Denver Nuggets’ Kenneth Faried being the first NBA player to take a stand against homophobia? It’s true! The Manimal has joined Athlete Ally, an organization that combats homophobia in all sports, and he’s hoping other pro athletes will…
In 2004, Tony Vincent found a Doberman puppy tied to a tree with a chain. The choke-chain collar that was dug two into her neck had to be surgically removed. Vincent rescued the pup, adopted her, and named her Nikki. Since then, Nikki has become the de facto face for…
As we told you last week, Marco Rubio will be performing the GOP Feats! Of! Strength! as he delivers the State of the Union address response tonight. And, in a shocking twist, he plans on painting President Obama as a Big Government Spender Who Is Just a Socialist Spending Guy…
By halftime on Saturday at the BankUnited Center, while most of the sold-out crowd was twisting out their necks trying to get an eyeful of LeBron James and Dwyane Wade courtside, the national beat writers and TV analysts holed up in the media room were already tossing around the question:…
This was a sin more reprehensible than the last, more egregious than the indictments, more damning, even, than the “golf cart full of hookers” on that steamy day in the Bahamas. Jim Greer is a liar. I don’t speak from vicarious experience. I say this from personal contact. Jim Greer…
Churches do all kinds of things to lure in parishoners these days. Church by the Glades has hip slogans and Zumba classes. Calvary Chapel has daycare, a coffee shop, an amazing restaurant and mission trips abroad. Even the stodgy Presbyterians have forsaken hymn books and now project lyrics on the…
Last Friday Florida Atlantic University campus police shot an armed man on the roof of one of the campus buildings. Reports trickled in that the man was homeless and that he lunged at them with a knife, prompting the FAU cops to open fire. The man, identified as 22-year-old Nicholas…
You’ve griped and complained many times that you need to cut down on coffee. You made it one of your New Years resolutions, even. You’re jittery and nervous all day, and your teeth are starting to stain. Not to mention the 3:00 p.m. crash. Man you need to cut down…
In case ya haven’t heard, Pope Benedict XVI has given his three-week’s notice to God. The 85-year-old Pontiff, who was once part of the Hitler Youth and went out of his way to protect pedophile priests, told the Vatican that he’s stepping down due to being inflicted with old. “Before…
Former chairman of the Republican Party of Florida, Jim Greer, was headed to trial on fraud, theft and money laundering charges after allegations of big-time spending and shady behavior surfaced. But, in a surprising twist, Greer has accepted a plead deal Monday morning and has pled guilty. See also: Jim Greer:…
Right Wing wild card Roger Stone may throw his hat in the ring of the 2014 Florida governor’s race. The ace in his hole: marijuana. He wants to legalize it, and gay marriage. How serious is he? It’s always a thin line with Stone, who so revels in outrage it’s like…
LeBron James has demonstrated such deity-like powers lately, the pope said, “Ah fuck it. I quit.”Throughout his career as an indomitable nard-crushing baller, LeBron has repeatedly demonstrated his astonishing ability to cock-punch his opponents unconscious while simultaneously lighting them on fire with every shot and dunk. And yet, he’s never…
Chuck Malkus really wants you to hate Scott Rothstein. Describing the disgraced and hilariously ostentatious Rothstein, Malkus uses phrases like “orgy of fraud” and “one big rotting tapestry” and — our favorite — the “Pandora’s Box that is Scott’s brain.” Malkus’ book about Rothstein, Ultimate Ponzi, was released last week…
At some point, a Carol City-bred corrections officers named William Leonard Roberts II stepped inside a phone booth and popped out as Rick Ross, a slow-jawing hip-hop He-Man. Although the Bawse preaches a drug-slinging, drive-by braggadocio, the gangster lifestyle — as the media and haters have been quick to point…
If you haven’t heard yet, there’s a massive blizzard storm weather event snow thing that’s about to engulf the northeastern part of the U.S. The Weather Channel has nicknamed the menacing storm Nemo, for some reason. In any event, thanks to Nemo, Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport has announced a crapload…
Michael Seacrest got into an argument with Adrijon Hoti in the early morning hours on Thursday. Apparently Hoti was angry at Seacrest for taking a jacket that wasn’t his. A heated argument ensued, and Hoti stepped up to Seacrest and allegedly made verbal threats. Seacrest didn’t like a dude being…
According to Boca Raton police, at least one person has been shot at Florida Atlantic University’s Boca campus. The shooting reportedly happened on the roof of one of the buildings, but police have yet to confirm that. This is a developing story…. Update [1:00 p.m.]: Police have confirmed that FAU…
For a long while now this season, the Miami Heat were languishing at the bottom of the league in rebounds. This was partly due to them not having a real rebounding specialist. It was also because the Heat sometimes approach regular season games like a kid playing with his mashed…
Having a baby is many things: wonderful, scary, exuberant, life-affirming, and life-changing. Rick Scott wants to add “creepy as shit” to that list. Governor Voldemort has teamed up with Hallmark and several local hospitals to send cards to new moms with greetings, congratulations, and immunization advice. Scott insists that this isn’t…
South Florida has no shortage of pornography, being right down there with California’s San Fernando Valley as a center for the porn film and video industry, and with a full palette of related activities on the side: titty bars, escort services, you name it.But as to the pornography of everyday…
The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times’ crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., taking the square root of the Sun Life Stadium upgrade price tag . . . err . . . which button is…
