Brace yourself. Here comes the Most Florida Thing You’ll Read All Day!: Hernando County Deputies arrested a North Florida woman after the 9-year-old child in her care ate some crack cocaine. Kimberly Losurdo is facing child abuse charges after fire rescue officials were called to her home on a report…
Dwyane Wade has been suspended by the NBA for one game, without pay, for supposedly kicking another player in the balls. On Wednesday night in Charlotte, the Miami Heat were busy dismantling the Bobcats midway through the fourth quarter when Ramon Sessions fouled Wade. As he reached in for the…
The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times’ crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., burning stacks of old Broward phone books and reading the ashes).5. Hollywood 104.7 FM “The Jam.” Hollywood Police have been busy trying…
The first installment of our highlight reel from the area blogosphere featured everything from legal scholarship to sex toys. Round two keeps the quality flowing, with a diverse selection from all over the ideological map. Here are laser-guided muckrakes and movement funeral oratory, community issues, and court cases. If anything,…
This one’s embarrassing. Chris Siegert, quite possibly the most failed social media actor in internet history, has many problems. One of them being he makes model Ghostbuster cars — WHILE ON VACATION — that flash: “Ghostbusters.” Another one being that he’s tried hundreds of times to start conversations on Twitter…
Some robbery victims come home to find a missing television, or computer, or DVD player, or jewelry. Others have their furniture taken, while others have even come home to find their pet gone. And then others come home to find their driveway’s been stolen. Yup.At least, that’s what happened to…
Hey, Florida! Looks like we’re number one in yet another dubious category! Just a few weeks ago, we became number one in most concealed weapons permits (just days before Newtown, no less!). And now, it looks like we’re number one in sending convicted inmates to death row. Most concealed weapons and…
Nely Limeira, 73, of Oakland Park fell victim to a lottery scam that took advantage of her kindness. And now authorities are on the lookout for two women who perpetrated the shakedown that robbed Limeira of $12,300 in cash and jewelry. According to the Broward Sheriff’s Office, Limeira was approached…
In 2001, twentysomething Nicole Jaquis, who’d grown up down here in Wellington and then moved to Boston, left her job and joined some friends who were making a documentary in India about the Kumbh Mela — one of the biggest gatherings on planet Earth, which you’ve probably never heard of. After…
The internet nearly stopped existing yesterday when sports blog Deadspin revealed what could possibly be the new Miami Dolphins team logo. Deadspin credited fan site DolfansNYC for leaking the possible logo, and Dolphins fans everywhere chimed in. Mostly, they hated it. And, if the leak is indeed the real logo,…
Thwack! Thwack! The three men hack their way through the Guatemalan jungle, one machetazo at a time. A thick canopy of kapok trees filters out all but the faintest stream of emerald light. As they reach the ruined temple, each man fires up his torch. The youngest, a college student,…
It was midday at Miami International Airport when a scraggly, intense kid with a face like a razor blade unfurled a small rug and knelt, forehead to the floor, and then performed the Muslim rite of salah. “God is great,” he murmured. “God is great.” The sounds of the chants…
Two women, Ashlie Alewine, 22, and Nakilya Latisha Wright, 18, nearly pulled off the heist of the century when they robbed the InnPlace Hotel on Fifth Avenue South in Naples. They took money from the register. And they made a clean getaway. That is, until one of them accidentally ass-dialed the very hotel…
Back in 2009, during Barack Obama’s first inauguration, the Lesbian and Gay Band Association became the first LGBT musical organization to participate in a presidential inaugural parade. Members of the South Florida Pride Wind Ensemble participated in the 2009 parade and will be doing so again this time around. Of…
A fire broke out at the Hope Medical & Wellness clinic in the 2800 block of Hollywood Boulevard on Christmas night. Now Hollywood police, fire rescue, and the state fire marshal are joining together to investigate a possible connection to the fire and a cryptic message scrawled on the clinic’s…
Throughout the early part of the NBA season, the men of the Miami Heat played basketball games like they were simply hoarding their fucks for the impending Mayan Apocalypse. Their defense was terrible. Their shooting, erratic. Their desire, seemingly lacking. But, since Christmas is a time of giving, the Heat…
As a way of wrapping up 2012, we reached out to the bloggers working the turf in Broward and Palm Beach for their favorite posts from the calendar year. Here is the first installment of what we received. Below you’ll find a few lines from the writers themselves about why…
Most people won’t notice a difference. Really, who would? The bylines hide between the headlines and the article, and besides, the entire intent of journalism isn’t the writers but the stories. So, maybe, people won’t notice. But they should. In the wake of Newsweek’s last issue and the Miami Herald’s…
It’s Christmas Day. Which means family, gifts, egg nog, and Miami Heat basketball. Lately the Heat have had to face off against the Lakers during the X-Mas Day Showdown. But this year, the NBA deemed it necessary to schedule a rematch of the NBA Finals (Remember that? When the Heat…
Merry Christmas, South Florida! It’s 304 manatees! The recent cold snap forced hundreds of the sea cows to the FPL plant located east of State Road 7 right off Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. The herd sought refuge from the suddenly chilly weather in the plant’s discharge of warm water. So…
Christmas Day. Now is the time to spend time with family, read a book, listen to Christmas jams, open gifts, and, if you’re a South Florida celebrity living in a postmodern age, reach for your Twitter feed to dispatch the good tidings. Because apparently it’s not Christmas unless it’s an…
Listen close, junior terrorists. How do you, aspiring distributor of chaos and mayhem, orchestrate something that will stir things up — really get your jihad on — when you’re stuck in the middle of suburbia, without a car, money, and your mom blows? Well, al-Qaeda is here to help. And…
