Well, it happened. You’ve crossed into the Red Zone. We know, we know, you meant to get around to it yesterday, but TNT threw on a back-to-back showing of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended cut) and you ate all those cookies. Now it’s 9 am on Christmas Eve…
With Christmas Day fast approaching, so many of us are still expecting that package to arrive via mail just in time. Some are waiting for that box from Amazon. Others are waiting for that package of clothes ordered from the J Crew catalog. And others are waiting for two kilos of cocaine…
It took them exactly one week after the Newtown tragedy to come up with things to say, but the NRA finally held their much ballyhooed press conference Friday to let all of America know that guns are totally awesome so don’t stop buying them, please. NRA Head Honcho Wayne LaPierre…
You may or may not be aware of this, but other parts of the country go through what scientists call “winter weather” this time of year.And now it appears that South Florida will be experiencing this phenomenon, probably for like a day though.The National Weather Service has issued a wind…
The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times’ crack research department using through a highly scientific algorithm (i.e. cocktail napkins and a Boggle board). 5. Congressman Allen West. The clock might be running out for Congress’ preeminent Tea Party…
Pretty goddamned embarrassing when Palm Beach County’s premier performing arts showcase chooses to break the law with impunity rather than do right by its employees. But for 12 years now Palm Beach’s Kravis Center has engaged in an illegal campaign of union busting that’s simmered like a boil on the county’s public…
It took more than six months to coax Diane Carle out of her home. Authorities had heard complaints for weeks about all the filthy cats roaming her front porch, and no one had seen inside her house — not ever. But when authorities finally obtained probable cause for animal cruelty…
“I’m dangerous,” 23-year-old Garrett Holeve warns as he bounces around a bedroom in his parents’ suburban, single-story house, throwing punches and kicks. A pungent combination of protein-powered farts, dirty laundry, and ball sweat permeates the air. “I’ll hurt a guy real bad,” Garrett brags. “I’ll be covered in too much…
At 9 one Saturday morning in mid-August, David Parga threw back the barn doors at his Southwest Ranches farm to a surprise. Marco, one of his two horses, was gone. Parga’s first thought: Someone has stolen Marco — or maybe, by some measure of equine wizardry, Marco escaped. He was…
Scott Israel’s November win in the Broward County Sheriff’s race will probably mean a big shakeup at the area’s largest law enforcement agency. But it’s a labor dispute time-stamped from the sheriff-elect’s failed 2008 campaign for Al Lamberti’s job that might change daily business at departments across Florida. Jeffrey Stanley…
Ken Dandar doesn’t trust anybody. Not after all the spies searched his trash. Not after the interlopers dialed his office, pretending to be somebody else. Not after he took on Scientology in one of the biggest legal clashes in the church’s history. So when we called Dandar last week, he thought we were…
On Monday, we told you about the 40-foot sperm whale that washed ashore in Deerfield Beach. Turns out, a couple of dudes were jumping on top of and riding the whale as it died off the shore of Pompano Beach. And now a federal investigation has been launched to find…
Tensions have been high right here in Florida ever since the tragedy that unfolded in Newtown, Connecticut, last Friday. People are being arrested for bringing guns into schools, modified lockdowns are being enforced over bullets found on a school bus, and we’re learning that bulletproof backpacks are a thing, and…
Allen West appeared on Fox & Friends this morning to play the GOPers favorite new game: LET’S BEAT THE WHOLE BENGHAZI THING INTO THE GROUND BECAUSE THAT’S HOW WE ROLL! West, who should know a thing or two about military scandals and things of that nature, came out and basically…
It’s official. Everyone pretty much thinks Rick Scott is crappy at his job. That, according to a new Quinnipiac poll that has a large number of people saying Governor Voldemort doesn’t deserve a second term. (And that number includes GOPers!) Rick Scott has feverishly been trying to make people forget…
As the rest of the nation is crawling out of the caves and embracing the legalizing of pot and same-sex marriage, Florida is still being all Florida about such things. According to a new poll conducted by Quinnipiac, residents of our fine state remain split down the middle on gay…
Well, by not doing much, it turns out. Guess it figures. If your life is anchored by gaming out possible doomsday scenarios, a little media hype about Mayan calendars or some such bull ain’t about to slow your step. Mayan, shmayan. Have you heard about the asteroid swinging by next…
Did you know there are already two major pipelines underground that bring in natural gas from other states to our local power plants? There will be a third by 2017, and FPL is currently seeking “Requests for Proposals” from companies that want the job of building it. FPL says the two…
Despite a couple of good swings, the Miami Herald’s Dan Le Batard pretty much failed to connect with reality in his column last Sunday, a 1,000 word humble-brag tricked out as a nostalgia job. The basic thesis here moans that the Heat’s 2012-13 season is a lot less “fun” now…
At first Rick Scott was all, NO EXTRA EARLY VOTING DAYS FOR OUR STATE, EVAR! And then everyone started to hate him and think he’s awful because they realized he’s a beady-eyed pustule with dumb GOPer agendas and an affinity to eat people’s souls (allegedly!). But now, all of a…
A horse was rescued from someone’s backyard pool. Most Florida thing you’ll read all day? Most Florida thing you’ll read all day. Palm Beach County Fire Rescue was called to a Loxahatchee home about 4:30 p.m. yesterday on reports that someone found a horse in his pool…
For once, we’ve found common ground with debt collectors: Broward County Republican Chairman Rico Petrocelli is impossible to get on the telephone and won’t return calls. At least when the calls refer to his crushing debt. Petrocelli is mad broke. He filed for bankruptcy in November of last year –…
